We all are going to HELL!

From the diaries---

Today was a same day as every day. It’s just that I had to rush to station early because my uncle has to drop her wife to the airport. Oh well. I try to avoid locals as much as I can so I go daily to my office with uncle. It’s on his way so he drops me almost every day. So even if I need to get my ass off my bed in morning 7.30, which I normally do by 8 I managed somehow to do it. There I came to bus stop. Now this is the funny part. Every day I go to bus stop expecting to catch a bus like everybody else and save around 50 bucks daily but it seldom happens. I end up reserving a cab. Today I was standing at the bus stop waving my hand vertically- a gesture to halt cabs. There was standing a man, aged 60. He inquired me whether I am going to station. When I nodded he asked, ”Would you like to share a cab till station?” I was like cool, why not. Of course. No harm in being with an old person in the morning.

Being in the city of dreams I have been sceptical to people I meet. There are more stories about how I am apprehensive to trust (not completely my fault though) Anyway, my room-mates care for me a lot and have taught me not to talk about myself to strangers. So when I got into the cab I started looking outside the window, not making an eye contact to him. The first line of his conversation was,” do you stay in the ladies hostel down the road”? I felt a current in my gut. How the hell he knows about it. Then I figured any one form the locality could figure that out so I gently said yes and looked away to avoid further discussions. So what do you do? I thought he is not going to stop. He would have a conversation till the cab reached its destination. So I smiled and replied, “I am into the software industry- IT engineer.” I said this proudly and was not sure if he knew anything about the computers or engineers. He smiled. There I looked him for the first time. He had a warm smile. His eyes were very accepting. Upon seeing me he kind of felt some happiness which was bursting through his eyes I can’t explain. It was difficult to trust my senses cause the person met me for the first time, why was he so happy and peaceful? May be I reminded him of somebody, I thought.

“So from station you have to go Mallad”

“No I work in the east”, I lied. I did not want to give any details about me so I thought giving wrong information would be better as I knew he would not stop talking until we reach the station.

“Ok, so you take the public bridge”? He was worried because the route we were taking would directly take us to station and public bridge on the different direction.

“No, I got a pass. I take the railway bridge everyday” I wanted to keep it precise.

I knew He was going to ask me everything he could so to stop the chain I thought of asking myself.

“You stay in the locality?”

“Yeah, in the costa building.”

“Ok, So you…” and he interrupted. As if he wanted someone to talk to. I have found this thing happen to me a lot of times. I don’t consider myself a good listener still people like to talk to me and easily open up.

“I have been staying in Mumbai since 20 years. I am a business man”

“What business you are into”?

“Stones” He said.

It intrigued. Stones! What kind of business is that? Does he mean stones as in the jewellery?

He could read my confusion. So he said instantly, “Stones and granite for the floors”

“Ah” I exhaled.

“My three boys are into it too”

After the first time I saw his eyes, I haven’t been looking to his face while talking so I did not realise but his eyes were gloomy and watery. I was not sure whether it was tears or the reaction to the pollution. I stared at the rear view mirror to have a good look at him. I was surprised. Why was he crying? Is that I reminded him of someone or he is just unhappy with his life.

We were in silence for about a couple of minutes then I don’t know why he suddenly said, “We all be goin to hell” indicating to himself. I was not sure why he said that. Has he done anything bad in his business for which he is not happy about or is it something else that’s eating up inside him for which he needed somebody to listen and could not control his tears.

I did not what to reply so I just smiled and said “Na don’t say that.” I did not know why I said that. And there was silence for about two minutes. I could see tears in his eyes. He was wiping. It was awkward moment. To break the silence I asked.

“So you have 3 boys?”

“Yes. Two are handling my business and one is an IT engineer”

My eyes went big. Oh shit I thought he has no idea what I am talking about and his son is into IT.

“His office was in Mallad. He left the job and started his own restaurant.”

“That’s good. What’s the name of the restaurant?”

“Grains and bagel. They are starting to make it into a franchise. They are starting up in pune and expanding their business.”

“that’s a good thing ” I don’t know what to say. I can see he is constantly rubbing his eyes to swipe the tear away. I was a bit uncomfortable. We were about to reach the station. I started to open my h

“Did you vote from here?” May be he wanted to know from where I am from.

I was smart enough not to disclose about my native place so I simply said, “No. I am from east”

and bag. I knew it would take time. Open the handbag, search for wallet then take out the cab fare.

“Where form east you hail”?

“Odisha.” It was an instant response I could not lie.

“Oh we have mines there too. The area is full of naxalites.”

He could sense I was not getting a good feeling when he said that about my state. So he quickly said,” 

Naxalites have erupted from crude politics but A nice place to stay though.”

It does not matter if he praises or not. I am not that fond of my place.

“Yeah a very nice place to stay”. To switch topic I asked”So you have 3 sons and no daughter?”

“Nahi, my two sons are married and one more to go so I will be having three daughters, and ” he paused, 

“You all are like my daughters.”

We smiled looking into each other. I could still see the tears he was trying his level best to hide.We reached to the gate of the platform.

I reached for my purse and took out cash. He hesitated.

“No I can’t take money”

“I insist, We talked to share the cab. You don’t have to pay the whole amount”.

But he refused. For a second I thought he is a business man, few bucks is not a big deal for him but then I noticed a tear on his pant. It is not that easy to locate but I that time it caught my eye. I remembered while talking he had mentioned that the business h was talking about; he is a partner to that venture and does not own the company completely. I too remembered when I asked about the name of the shop he ignored me saying that at different places the name of the shop is different. I was sceptical again. But the warmth in his talks and the tears in his eyes were real. I could feel that.

I could not think of anything to tell in order to comfort him. “In this fine morning I feel happy to meet a grandfather figure person, Dadaji thank you but you did not have to do this."

A faint smile on his face appeared. My granddaughter is 12 years old. I told “It does not look like you have a granddaughter of the specified age” He looked young though or may be my grandfather is 94 so my notion of grandparents is different. He laughed on my reply. There was a light sparked in his face. I could tell he was happy; Happy for a couple of seconds. 

He said “at our time we use to marry early. My grandfather died at the age of 105. He never took any medication neither have I.” 

He wanted to talk more. I knew. But it was time. I had to go. I did not utter a single more word.

We shared a smile, thanked him and headed. I did not look back o see him. I could not. My head was full of questions that I know can never be answered. Why was he crying? Why was he generous to me? 

Why did he say- We all are going to HELL?