Yesterday I was having a small
talk with one of my roommates. Girls gossip you know! She is the one who has
recently got married and obviously dying to stay with her husband. Her husband
lives in Chennai and she is stuck in Mumbai for the job. And I appreciate the
fact that she is working after marriage. It’s not that common in Indian society
to continue your job after marriage when your husband is at different part of
the country. Here the girl has to adjust. Hence forth, she tried her level best
to make herself transfer to Chennai which she succeeded eventually. So now the
whole anxiety thing prevails as to when the date of transfer will come and she
would be with her husband.
She is a damn
nice girl. Completely like an elder sister to me. Helping me out whenever I needed,
guiding and adjusting with my craziness. And she cares for me I could tell. She
is cute, beautiful, frank and an awesome cook. I love her. Well the post isn’t about
her but the discussion we had. She was discussing about the good times she had
back at her in laws place, and how she has to do stuff as formality like visiting
every relative and bringing them gifts, greeting the elders, have a pallu on
her head all the time and so on. We always use to discuss this kind of stuff;
well I should say my roommates always use to discuss this kinda stuff. Not
their fault, I understand their phase. One is recently married and one is
getting married in couple of days.
So while telling
me the stories one thing she mentioned which kind of was stuck in my head. It
was about something that some people consider as unholy. Now you must be
thinking what on earth I am talking about. Well I am talking about the menstrual cycle that us girls go through. Yeah, that is unholy. Even some consider it as
impurity; as if the impure blood is harmful and hence women are designed in such a way that
every month the impure blood drains out to cleanse our guts. Funny!
Sad thing is
even after being educated people use to ignore these things or feel offended
when the word comes to any discussion. As if the word itself is unholy. It
makes me laugh. Why is it unholy? What is in it to be ashamed of? Why is it a
taboo? Why being educated also we cannot deal with it? I have read enough
articles and blogs ranting on this topic and today I am doing the same (which I
thought I would never coz it’s cliche)
So the story
was:
You know we have gone to visit my some-in-laws’ home. I don’t remember who
exactly, doesn’t matter and suddenly I realized I am on periods. I was so scared, as now what to do? I can completely understand the feeling when you get your
periods before they were supposed to happen. I was uncomfortable. I was afraid to ask for a sanitary pad. why the hell was that! You know how they would feel. Nope I don't know I am the new daughter-in-law(nayi naveli dulhan) I was afraid to sit as I was conscious it would be inappropriate to stain their couch. That’s true. But thank God my husband’s mom and dad had not yet arrived so I asked my husband to take me to any medical shop so that I would buy a sanitary napkin and then in our way back I would go to any mall and use the washroom to put it on. OMG Seriously! Did she actually think that? So we went to buy sanitary pad They went, I cannot believe this but going to a mall would have wasted a lot of time and would have aroused suspicion so we came back and I used their washroom. Obviously you should have done that at the first place,
instead of “thinking” to go a mall!
Well I did not
speak a single word while she narrated the story. I could not think of anything
to say. I was mad at the society for making this a taboo. I am not judging her.
She was right, she has to make a good impression. The fault is with the people.
Why can’t she be open about it to whoever she visited? There were ladies too,
they would have understood. Even if they were no ladies, I am pretty sure every
man in this world is aware of the menstrual cycle. So why to feel ashamed about
it?
These were the
questions sprung in my mind. Why we are not supposed to talk about it. Men have
no idea how it feel to bleed for three to six days day and night. The pain we
suffer, the leg cramps, the sore breasts, the instability of mind moreover the
PMS. And we deal this every fucking month. God has designed woman this way.
Nothing is unholy nor is the blood we bleed out is impure. It is when the ovary
could not meet any sperm to fertilize it leaves the vagina taking out the lining
of the uterus with it. It is been taught in high school. Every boy and girl
knows that. Still you see it with contempt.
I wonder how in
the past there were so many rules a girl has to follow. She was struggling with
the pain plus she could not mingle with people or talk to them rather she would
be locked away in a room until she becomes clean. Anything she touches becomes
unholy (again comes the word!)
Well, this is nothing
we like. It is what the nature has decided for us. We are dealing with it. So you
guys deal with it too. And the elder women of the society, you already know how
it feels so why don’t you be a bit of open minded and accept what is right not
what has been done since ages.
It could have
been very simple if she (my roommate) would have approached to a member of the
family she visited, whoever she was comfortable with, should have told her
about the situation. As she was a guest, the family would (or I should say “should”)
have taken care of it. It could have been that easy if and only if she had
approached which she didn't. Why? Because she was afraid of the society and the
people and the stupid taboos.
I look forward
to the day where we don’t feel bad or offended talking about this to anybody (father/brother/
guy friends) and they should accept it as a normal process. We don’t have to
pack the sanitary pads in newspaper in order to hide. Be good to her (girl on
periods) and take care of her rather than shutting down the world on her. We
ourselves make the society and we have to be cool to these matters to make the
society or at least the future society worth living.
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