A Loner

He was a loner, scared to trust another soul. He has been loved, hated, trusted, heart-broken, ditched, played, mocked. He found pain in love. His mother’s love was poisoned, brother’s love was bitter, father’s love was green, sister’s love was lost and friends’ love was a show. He was not sure whom to talk and what to talk. His lips were dried of words. He never smiled but laughed at everything in life. He did not know how to cry because he never got a shoulder to lean. He could not understand the difference between sympathy and empathy.

He was vulnerable inside but strong to the world. He showed nothing could affect him and no one could hurt him anymore. Even though everything mattered to him, he showed he did not give a damn. He learned to love himself more than anything exists in this beautiful earth. In the process he had not realized the people who cared for him.

Who does not love Sundays!

Who does not love Sundays!

You don’t have to wake up early, brush as soon as you get down from bed. In fact you don’t have to get down from your bed after you wake up. You can lie there for hours. No bras, no pajamas even (when you are alone )

This Sunday I was alone in room lying carelessly on my bed which was covered with Laptop, mobile, ipod, novel , earphones, dongle, specs, teddy, cushions, pillows, and a little space for me to lie! The floor was a mess with the wires of the extension cord and laptop charger. In the corner adjacent to the cord was the electric kettle I keep to make my coffee and Maggie, a teapoy aside my bed full of wafers, browinies,  chocolates, a pack of cigarette, lighter, muffins and of course coffee.

I was hung up upon the series ‘Breaking Bad’. I was in the last season and really wanted to know what happens to Walter cause I believe in Karma. And let me not start with Jessie or else I can go pages over pages writing about him. In short, I love him- both the actor and the character!

He was added in my list after Sherlock, Dexter and Patrick. I have mentioned the name of the characters and not their real name because I adore the character in the story and not the actor in person.

It wasn’t like I watched series the whole day. I was sleeping, waking up, having coffee, watching series , having Maggie then sleeping, waking up puffing cig, music on my earphones, having coffee, browsing internet, blogging, reading novel and the cycle repeats not in the same sequence of course! In short the whole day I did stuffs I like! My phone was a meter away, I did not logged in my facebook account, did not chat or talk to anyone-just once or twice though; of course being an Indian girl there would not be a day not speaking to your parents!

So munching on my muffins n brownies, sipping my coffee, puffing smoke, reading, writing, listening to music so loud like a thunder I reached a sense of equilibrium. It was like my room was sent to the empty universe far away. My room was in the in the black space all alone surrounded by distant stars. No noise, no pollution, not a single being to annoy. And inside I was there carefree doing things I like without getting disturbed by the world! 

I was living in a place where ONLY I exist.

It was an awesome day! Who does not love Sunday ;)