Care for your SOUL

Have you ever felt that you are not worthy enough just to be alive. Everything is falling apart. No one loves you, no one needs you. Then remember everyone out there is dealing with their own difficulties. They just don’t show it, like you.

Do not get intimidated by what life throws at you. Life is just like a basket ball game. You need to shoot the ball within the time period for yourself and for your team. You got to catch ball and make a move. If you stay then somebody else is going to take the ball.

My face, hair, nails, legs, ass, lips, eyes, nose... nothing is perfect. I don’t have a perfect body. I am a miniature; with small feet, short legs, face with scars, peach shaped body, small boobs, blunt nose, small eyes, ugly nails, night black hair, legs with blade scars.. and the list goes on. Wait a minute, I am not complaining. I listed to acknowledge that with all these imperfections I love my body, I love my soul. I would go out in shorts without my legs waxed showing all the scars of the wound that bled once. I don’t care to look pretty cause I know I am beautiful; Beautiful inside. You have to crush the hard rock covering like the one in coconut in order to see the soft vulnerable me inside. 

Let me tell you every one is like this. We all have a lot of things which we could trade with someone else if possible! You have to believe that you are not happy by impressing others. You are happy when you make yourself at peace. Find the inner beauty, find the peace. The answers you are looking for are all hidden in the layers of YOUR life. Stop lying to yourself. People find it difficult to accept but you have to believe that we, people, lie to ourselves more than to anybody else. So stop lying, stop procrastinating.

Learn to say ‘no’ when you really don’t want to go for. This world is so pretty and we have just one life to live with it. Live the fullest.

It’s on you! What is happening to you good/bad is karma. Oh yes, I believe in Karma. Try to take chances. Try to take blame for what you are responsible for.

Get ready for yourself. Be presentable in a way that YOU will like. Love yourself more than anybody. Care for your soul.

Not my fault

You liked, you cared

You called me every night

You talked, you shared

Every details of your life

I was proud of you,

u were my bff

Coz the bond we share

was terrific

Then suddenly you behaved in a way

I’ve never seen;

to my surprise

That was insane

You clinged to me

like a lost puppy

letting jealousy to dwell

And baby, oh well

I understand that you love me

But baby you should know

I don’t feel that way

You have to let me go

You love me; not my fault!

The bond we shared

was unconditioned

And you added constraints

How can you be so mean!

if I did anything wrong

sorry, please go away

coz Baby tryna understand

I don’t feel the same way

I understand that you love me

But baby you should know

I don’t feel that way

You have to let me go

You loved me; not my fault!

Ps- I always wanted to write songs, hope someday I could find  music for it.

You Gonna MISS Me

College Diaries:
From a Journal of a Teenager #1

It is sad when I think about the time I had spent painting a picture of our future. I thought we could be together. I thought you understood my every talks, I did not have to pretend. It was the same for you, I know. I could tell the very first day you fell for me. But you are so egoistic to accept that.

You know I am the only person who can understand you but you are too stubborn to acknowledge that! You did not care for a girl who genuinely had feelings for you. Hah, what you thought I would not get a man to love me! Or I could not get into a stable relationship? Boy, I chose you over 5 fucking million people. But you do not deserve it.

Sweetheart , you gonna miss me; miss me real bad. But let me tell you, I have moved on. Gone are the days when I wait for your text messages. I am fed up off your stupid beliefs. Like for instance you think by just having degree from a good university make you a deserving candidate to marry! OMG are you really serious? In which world are you living? Just look at the mirror once. Anyway I am not judging your looks, I really felt you are good at heart but  You are a pathetic self-centred egoistic creep who is worried about his life and nothing else; not even his family and friends.

You are fucked up. And I am sorry to say but you are a loser.

I wish I could curse you on your face but baby you gonna miss my dirty words too.

Cya diary!

Another cup of coffee!

“How can one not drink coffee? I mean, it’s just a coffee!!!” this is what I said when he ordered an iced tea showing dislike towards coffee. I was in the coffee shop with a man who does not like coffee. He was surprised by my love for it.  He was staring at me while I was busy sipping the hot black liquid; and he wondered how a person is so crazy about it. May be I am going overboard but please don’t judge my love for coffee. I will be happy to be with a man who would take me on date to a coffee shop rather than taking me to boring dark movie halls or big fat places to dine, where people eat less and show more.

We were meeting for the first time and instead of going for an expensive meal at a fancy restaurant, which he suggested, it was my idea for the place, Coffee shop; a place where you can sit for hours indulging into the taste and aroma of cafe with the choco-chip muffins.  I was completely into the mug i was holding, activating  each neuron of my brain, refreshing all the senses when he abruptly asked, ‘so, what you think?’ I was blank. I had no idea what he was talking about. I can’t even recollect what his name was! Suddenly I came back to the chair where I was sitting, realizing I am on a date arranged by my parents .

Oh yes, you heard it right. Even in the 21^st century, thinking I have the coolest parents of all, I was on a date with a stranger who might be my husband one day. I don’t blame them, at least they gave me an option for me to spend time with him and accordingly decide!

“Well, let’s talk about each other, later I would tell what I think about it”

‘’Okay, what you wanna know”

“What you want to share”, I smirked!

“That’s funny coz we're strangers, I don’t understand what to say, I know you are in the same position, that is why telling me to start”, he stared at me smiling.

It burst me into a big laugh. He was right. Any way, this how our conversation started. We talked.

He was cute, charming, smart; I could tell. After a chat of two hours he asked again, “So, tell me now”

“Tell you what?

“What you think?”

“About what”

“We meeting coz of our parents”

I smiled, put the last piece of brownie from my plate and said, ”Will tell you when we meet for another cup of coffee ”

Watching the world end

Last night you said ‘I love you’

You were with me and I was with you;

The story of us seemed as a fairy tale.

Sun rays tearing the dark,

I wish I could go 2 years back!

Why  the night has to end?

In a Long shirt and morning air,

Holding the Coffee mug with messy hair;

I looked outside the window pane.

Thinking of us, thinking of ME!

So selfish, how can I be?

Then on my face fell a few drops of rain.

Hey baby, Pull me back to our realm

I just don’t wanna break this dream.

Wrap me in your arms and kiss.

I like the feel of your touch.

I know you love me very much.

Your heart is the place where I belong.

Cause I wanna dance, I wanna die

And you are the one who lets me fly.

The world knows we don’t care.

So here,  we lie, under the sheets

Saying good bye, humming to our heart beats

Now we are alive: Watching the world end.